It's Not the Worst Thing Happening in the World

March 6, 2026

They're suspending our 401k match at work. They say it's temporary, an effort to keep everyone employed. But we don't know what the future holds.

I was pretty upset about this news when it was announced. And I still am, because it's one in a line of several soft pay cuts I've experienced in the past year. As someone who is not paid well in the first place, I would like my damn retirement to be funded at least.

I keep second-guessing whether it's valid for me to be this upset about it. Most of my coworkers seem unbothered. At my team's weekly meeting, our manager said, "It's annoying, but it's not the worst thing happening in the world." Annoying is a fly buzzing in your face. This is a cut to my pay.

The second point is true though, and of course I am glad that they're not laying people off (yet). But I feel like I am being gaslit. They're really giving me "Kim, there's people that are dying."? I can't be angry about yet another cut to my compensation because the world is on fire? When has it not been, and why didn't it matter before?

Obviously, I'm glad to still be employed. Today it was reported that the U.S. labor market lost 92,000 jobs in February. I'm not taking my employment for granted.

But it's a step too far to expect me to put on a grateful face and give a standing ovation. Believe it or not, the bare minimum of having employees is keeping them employed. You don't get to be applauded for that when it comes at their own expense.

This has been a rough year for me at work. If it weren't for that, I probably wouldn't be as irritated as I am. I've complained a lot on this website about returning to the office last year. We have a hybrid situation now. It's not my favorite thing in the world, and I do consider it a pay cut. But it's also not the end of the world for me.

No, the biggest chop to the throat was being passed over for promotion last spring. After almost a decade in my role, I was not even considered; they hired someone from outside of the company.

I think there are several reasons why they made this decision. I have mixed feelings about all of them. But I would have liked to at least be considered. They also didn't consider any of my coworkers, which is even more unforgivable. Any one of them would have done a fantastic job.

Most people would tell me it's past time find a new job. Most people have told me this. I'm squeezing down into a job cannon as we speak.

The truth is, I think I've painted myself into a corner. As an editor, my profession has many job seekers and few job openings. My specific industry has 7 quintillion applicants for every job opening. I don't see myself finding another gig like this.

I could try to pivot to another industry. Despite the shitty job market, and despite AI, there are still a few jobs out there. A marketing role, maybe.

But honestly, my current work might be the only type of work I want to do in the realm of editing. I'm good at it, and the work itself is often interesting. Our mission is literacy, which is something I care a lot about. If I lose my job, my plan is to just... Do something else entirely.

I feel like I might have to make that change regardless. Life is long, and it seems I'm already at the pinnacle of what I can do in my current situation. I ruminate on whether I can or should do this until I retire (assuming retirement still exists in 30 years). I'm decades from that point, so this is a real concern for me. Am I really going to be doing the same job until then? A 65-year-old cranking out another book about, like, Octagons Around Us? Ridiculous.

But what to do? Basically everything I have interest in would require continuing my education. In theory that would be great. In reality, my existing student loan will finally be paid off this year. It kills me to think about taking on student debt yet again.

I'm also just tired of working, man. Aren't we all?

For most of the time that I've been in my current job, I was also a freelance writer for a website. I had something due every single day, including weekends and holidays, for almost six years. I think they gave us Christmas off once. It amounted to over 2,000 consecutive days of work.

At the time that I started, I was making like $13 an hour in my full-time job. The freelance gig didn't pay the greatest either, but the volume of work made it a life-changing amount of money for me at the time.

Financial stability came out of that experience. But also, I think it permanently altered my brain.

For a long time, I couldn't go anywhere without rushing to get home so that I could do my work. If I had free time, it felt imperative to write something extra to get ahead. Except there was no true getting ahead, because the work stretched out forever. I often wrote while watching TV, playing games, or hanging out with people.

I don't do that work anymore, but the effects still linger. I still feel rushed all the time. Sometimes I still break into an anxious sweat when I go to the store and take "too long" even though I am under no real time restrictions. I rarely make meals that take longer than 10 or 15 minutes; why waste that time when I could be doing something productive?

All of this to say that I think I am burnt out, which is not helping me make good decisions about my work situation. I'm angry, but it's probably not a good time to complain so much when my livelihood is on the chopping block. Seems like every time I gain some leverage, the economy tanks or there's a global pandemic or a shiny new war starts and I'm back where I started.