Out-of-Context Quotes from My LiveJournal

They'll serve as a humbling reminder of what an annoying shit I was at 18.

• "M’s mom called and said to go to a very specific dollar store to get mini teapots."
• "Then we went to Taco Bell, came back to [redacted] and spotted many grendelesque clouds. As in Grendel shaped."
• "Little did we know, the crazy man is at this little opening behind the coffee pot beside the pop machine listening to our whispers."
• "I’m glad to be in Ohio, but I’ll be more glad to be out of Ohio."
• "Fuck Ohio, fuck Ohio, fuck Ohio, fuck Ohio, fuck Ohio fuck Ohio fuckOhio fuckohio fuckohio fuckohiofuckohio."
• "There was this one Barbie that my best friend and I referred to as ‘slick leg Barbie’ because her legs were very smooth, enabling the most skintight pants to be slid gracefully up her legs."
• "I watched a show about the Salem witch trials, then decided to take a bath."
• "It was as if the naked truth of the universe had been revealed to us as we had revealed ourselves."
• "This week K is too sick to go to the hypnotist. I have a feeling she’s not sick."
• "I forgot to mention that today my music professor whipped a list out of his wallet of people he knew who destroyed their lives."
• "I walked down the hall in my dorm wearing nothing but a towel."
• "Frankly, I am offended by K’s assertion that I could never be found in the back of a cop car."
• "Little Debbies. Summer. Harry Potter."
• "Upon mine and M’s arrival, N chivalrously brought up a tray of delicious-looking dip and chips, which Tigger then telepathically ripped from his hands."
• "After the movie, there was a small doughnut hole scuffle in which N got lobbed in the eye with a powdered doughnut."
• "I just need to read some Plato."
• "K has clung to a young man in the same way as Bella Swan did to Edward Cullen. I wish an angry group of Volturi on them."