September Stuff

September 15, 2026

Work Stuff

We're nearing the end of our book season at work. This means repeatedly looking at the same books, over and over, at an exponentially faster rate each round. I hate this part of the year.

It's annoying to search your own work for mistakes for the millionth time. You hope you find some so that you can justify the effort. But you also hope you don't, for obvious reasons. If I find a mistake, it sucks because that means I missed it before. If I don't find a mistake, it sucks because what am I missing?

I also do a final pass of other people's books, which I like a lot more. Partly because I haven't seen them before.

And partly because I get to be the hyphen police. For whatever reason, hyphens are my favorite grammatical pointlessness to fixate on. I'm like, Actually, Merriam-Webster says this should be unhyphenated. Or Per CMS 7.96, this is only hyphenated when it's an adjectival phrase.

(Yeah, I'm annoying as hell. But if nothing else, at least my books will be 100% free and clear of incorrectly-deployed hyphens.)

Fall Stuff

We decorated for Halloween, a little earlier than planned. It's starting to feel like fall, so it felt good to reset for the season.

Sometimes it stresses me to realize how much stuff I have. It's really not that much (we have a small house), but I still feel compelled to get rid of as much as we can each time we move into a new season. We got rid of a good amount this week.

I'm pretty picky about adding to my Halloween collection. Earlier this year, my brother gifted me a vintage noisemaker he picked up from an antique store. That will probably be the only new addition.

Pinball Stuff

My new high score on the Pokémon pinball machine is 65 million. More important, I caught a Butterfree (and a bunch of other, uglier Pokémon).

I evaluate Pokémon exclusively on cuteness, and Butterfree is one of the cutest. I actually wrote a book about Pokémon once, so you can trust my Supreme and Absolute authority on this subject.

Football Stuff

Do I care about football? Ultimately, no. But I watch Vikings games because my husband and his parents enjoy it, and it is fun to have something to root for each week. We also take part in a weekly pick 'em bet, so I vaguely keep track of who else wins so that I may win five bucks every now and then.

This week I learned about scorigami, which is when a final football score has never happened before in NFL history. Because of the odd scoring system in the NFL, there are a lot of different scores that can happen.

This week, the Vikings-Packers game had a scorigami of 39–22. (The Bears-Panthers game was also a scorigami, with a final score of 59–37.) I like this way too much and will now be keeping track of future scorigamis.

Body Stuff

Run away if you don't like blood.

I finally got a paper guillotine for chopping up zines. You see where this is going.

I gave my finger a good slice an hour after opening it. I left the blade up, whooshed my hand around while collating paper, and my right index finger got a new stripe. I'm cringing as I type this.

It didn't really hurt, but it bled a lot. Mountain Dew Code Red all over the place. I almost immediately felt dizzy and nauseous. I had to lie down. A while later when I got up again to make dinner, I felt panicky and sweaty and had to lie down again.

Apparently this is a common reaction. I used to be incredibly squeamish about needles and blood as a kid, and I guess it hasn't fully gone away. It makes me feel better about not pursuing the healthcare career my family encouraged me into. Yeah, maybe I'd get paid more and have more stability. But cracking the whip on made-up hyphenation rules doesn't draw so much blood.

Thrift Stuff

I thrifted someone's stamp collection from the 70s and 80s. (I don't collect stamps. I'm going to use them to mail things.)

Did you know the USPS didn't fully roll out self-adhesive stamps until 1992? I guess everyone was out there licking stamps, sending their DNA nationwide, up until the early 90s. Insanity.

In researching this, I came across a lot of stamps that did not age well. This one is my favorite:

Imagine getting a letter from your passive-aggressive great aunt and that stamp is on it. Reminds me of when I used to be a little Neopets troll. I'd send a book called Learn Social Skills to people who annoyed me in the Newbie Chat. (Projection much? Lmfao.)

That stamp didn't come in the piles I bought. Most of mine commemorate animals, historic events, and space. There's also this one, which I love. Slap it on an envelope and send it to every manager you've ever had:

Stray Observations

• One fall thing I hate is ginkgo trees. Why did this city plant female ginkgos? Every fall they drop their fruit on the sidewalk. The fruit rots, and people trample them. The smell is out of this world.

  My old street had a female ginkgo on the corner. One Thanksgiving, I walked out to my car and stepped on some berries. The smell in my car was so bad that I had to turn around and change shoes. The snow can't fall fast enough to bury these shit berries.

• Here is the most deranged Michael Simon sweater I've spotted on eBay this month. I think you should buy it.
• This week, my sister informed me that our grandma took her to see a Patsy Cline impersonator as a young kid. I am still reeling over the delicious ridiculousness of this information.

  Of course, I did have to ask her a million questions about it. All she remembers is long curtains and comfy seats. And, inexplicably, a Patsy Cline impersonator.

  It reminds me of my favorite "tourist attraction" in Iowa: the replica of the once-tallest corn stalk in the world. I can't tell you how much I love this thing. The fallen glory of Iowa.